Best of luck, right?

Nooooohoooohooooo!
(Im gonna copy my buddeh, Maddie. xDD)

Mood: Tired. Ugh.
Listening to: Younk Folks by Peter Bjorn & John

Well of course every kid is happy about seeing all their friends again when school starts in a week. But I don't have that to look forwards to.
I mean, I really havent been focusing too much on this but right now its bugging me.
I'm almost heading into high school and I know none of these people. And boy will they be surprised when I come sturtting in on he first day with my ninja shirt and yellow pants. And my insanely naturally colored hair (blonde and lighter brown higlights look awesome, btw).

I'll know one person. Layne. My...almost-boyfriend. Yea, he's cute and got a great personality and life. But I just go there, and I just met him.
And I coulnt believe how slutty it was for me to fall for the first guy I met. It's just sleazy.
So I'm kinda going to try to ignore him, you know. See if I can make him just a distant friend rather then a close, almost-boyfriend. That's the least harmful thing I can do at this point.
So I do believe I am getting my schedule this friday then monday its the first day of school! Wh-hoo! I should honestly be more excite but Im just too terrified to make room for the happiness. And I hate that. I hate being scared of every little bad thing that could happen.
I hate being scared of what people will think when I wear those yellow jeans. I hate just not knowing what'll happen.
I just hope it's like I sit down at a desk and someone compliments my hair or my clothes and we get to talking and I sit with them at lunch and we have a lot of classes togehter or something. Because I hate that awkward new student thing.
What thing? The thing where people stare at you, and some of them want to talk to you but they're either afraid of what others will think or they're shy and don't know what to say. And it's like, you get there and for the first few months you arent really important unless your totally drop dead gorgeous or completely and totally rude and then after those first few months you drift and become a part of a clique. And it's wierd because it happens so unwillingly slow that even you don't notice sometimes.
But I don't want that. I don't want to be a loser again. I want to show people what I'm really like. The awesome, nerdy, dorky mass of fun.
But Im too damn shy. Just...urg! I wanna strangle myself sometimes it's so annoying. Like, why can't I just talk for God's sake!

~Britneyy