The Day I Almost Died

On Saturday, April 30, 2011, I was almost murdered by my own mother.
In all seriousness I had planned to spend the day with my good friend, Mark, as you guys know.
However, I seem to have misplaced some information when I was explaining the details of the day to my mother?
Thus, at around 2 pm she calls me and asks me where I'm at.
I tell her I'm at McDonald's, even though I had been but wasn't currently at.
I won't get into too muh detail, but I was forced into requesting further transportation from the Movie Tavern in Fort Worth from Mark's father.

When we arrived back at my house, Mark and I exchanged a very awkward hug.
Though, I must admit, saying goodbye to people is always awkward.
You're not quite sure whether to hug, shake hands, wave, or, God forbid, simply say your farewells.
Of course, if you're cool like mark and I you can laugh about the awkwardness of the goodbye hug you just shared over a text.
And facebook.

Luckily my mom never yelled at me again an the whole subject has completely been obliterated between the two of us, as far as I am concerned.

Happy May day, everyone, by the way.
Especially since America kicked Osama's ass.
The very man who planned the events that occurred in New York in the September of 2001 is now, in fact, dead.
Although I am completely unaware of any causes of his deth, or a possible execution.
However, I do know that he absolutely, completely, and irrevocably deserved it.


For an extra twist I decided to make this blog post seem a little more informative and professional.
But in turn it makes me feel ten times as nerdy.


Want to know something that disgusted me?
Derian's chesticular area and abdominals (or lack there of, I should say.)
Yes, indeed, I have witnessed an unfortunately horrible site involving my arch nemesis.
(I don't believe I've told you this before, but I'm a Green Lantern. And he's a phsyco.)
How did I witness such a horrible thing?

Well, a friend of mine on Facebook posted some pictures from her boyfriends birthday party, a paintball party thing.
Apparently Derian was invited.
So he took it upon himself to not wear a shirt in any of the photos that were taken.

For some reason I couldn't get over the fact that he is just that disgusting.
Usually guys get hotter without there shirts, but he just got worse.
He has literally, no abs.
He's paler than me.
Which is something hard to achieve.
And he has total man tits.

Just.
No.


Once again Bus Orgasm Boy has struck the city with his lack of anything remotley interesting or normal.

Although.
Bus Orgasm Boy is quite a mouthful. (Do I really need to say it? That's what she said.)
Indeed. It's quite a hassle to type.
Shall we decide a new nickname?
Hmmmm.

According to a villain name generator, his nickname should be "Web Slasher".
Wanamaker know the catergories I selected as a description?
Cutting abilities.
Disease related.
Arachnid.

Yup.
That's definitely him.
But the name sucks.
How about....
Dracula?
No. That book is too good to be related to him in any possible way.
Then perhaps...
Vampire boy?

If you want to, leave a comment with some nickname ideas.
If I choose yours, you will receive a high five in the hallway hopefully soon.
:D