The Adventures of Bus Orgasm Boy and His Unfortunate Victims!

Could that Darion kid get any creepier?
The answer, sadly, is yes.

In fact he wrote a song on his binder about cutting himself and blood and all that crap.
Then in seventh period he shows me this little "saying" he came up with. It was 'We cry blood for you, darling.'
And to be honest I am truly dying as he's telling me about this. There was a number of things I could've done.
These things include:
1. Point and laugh hysterically.
2. Call him a emo little faggot and walk away. (Hoh yeah! An emo cigarette)
Or 3. Shut up and then laugh about it when he leaves the room.
He left the room and I started telling Mark about the whole thing.
Then ten minutes later he and I are still laughing about it.

Ugh. The dude just creeps me out.
He has duck lips. And his front teeth are straight, not curved like a normal jaw would be. Straight.
And those scars on his face? WTF is up with those?
Was he a part of some creepy Mexican gang?
Was the leaders name One-eyed Jose for a reason?
Did that all have these amazing scars from that one time when they were all playing a seriously epic game of chess and Jose kept throwing the pieces at his flunkies?
Or were the scars from Darions dog?

Probably the first scenario. That's more realistic.

I may seem calm, but in my head I've already killed you four times.

So blogs are for venting and crap, right?
Well good.

First of all, I have a list of names that I like to call the 'Must Eliminate Once I Take Over the World' list.
These are the names on it:
Amber P.
Katelyn L.
Darion G.
Hannah T.
Tabitha P.
Justin Beiber
Kanye West
lil' Wayne

And so on.

Second, here's why.
I the amber because she keeps calling MY boyfriend HER 'husbandddd:)' on Facebook.
I hate kayelyn because she is always in my way. Always lying. Always being a bitch.
I hate Darion because he scares the shit out of me.
I hate my cousin Hannah because she keeps saying I'm nor human, have no life, and don't know how to have fun.
I hate tabitha for basically the same reason as amber.
Justin Beiber for being in a dream of mine and for not going through puberty.
Kanye for being a douche to Taylor Swift and for failing at making a decent song.
And lil' Wayne because he's fu**ing crazy.

Bus Orgasms and Other Creepy Things from Hell

I know what you're thinking. "WTF??"
Yea, well...yeah.
So that kid Darion I was talking about...He goes up to me in math class and says, "I had an orgasm on the bus."
And I'm thinkin' 'What the hell, dude?'
"Amy bit me on the bus and it turned me on." he continued.
Then he starts going off about how I should get MY boyfriend to bite me.
Yeah. No lie.

And I'm like, "Sorry, but I don't think that's attractive. At all."

And then yesterday he asked me if I wanted to do something this weekend with him. I was having difficulty keeping a straight face because my friend Mark was standing behind him flailing his arms around nothing the word "NO!"
so I told him I was grounded because my mom thinks I'm some kind of whore. So Im grounded from hanging out with guys outside of school.
Granted, I had to make it up on the spot, so it's not fantastic or anything, but I tired.

He just scares the bajeezus outta me.

So anyways I kind of want to go to the park.
But I can't unless my room is clean.
And I really, really don't want to clean it.

Because I'm not a superhero.
Because this room is the only tropical rainforest in north-central Texas.
And because I'm scared of dying.

Yeah, that's right.


Oh, last night I got a phone call from a withheld number and when I answered it was this person making some seriously awkward orgasmic sounds. And as I'm waiting for them to explain this phone call to me, I'm thinking 'WTF is with all these orgasms today?'
Then I just hung up on them.

That One Kid Who...FAILS AT LIFE.

Have you ever been talking to your friends about some kid in one of your classes and NOBODY knows who you're talking about? So you start off ewith "You know, that one kid who..." blah blah blah. Still no one knows.
You even try to describe his/her's appearance and once again the attempt fails.
So finally you end up describing him using slightly racist or homophobic terms.

I say this because there's one kid in my math and history class who bugs the crap outta me.

This week at school we're doing some kind of "no dissing week" thing where you can't call people names because it hurts their feelings sometimes.
So apparently in first period art someone got called gay. And my teacher did not like that at all.

And the kid who called the other dude gay is this guy Darian, who is he person in question above!
The dude is f***ing crazy.
Like, fo' reals.

He DRINKS peoples blood.
He told me today that he likes emo girls who cut because they cut themselves and let him drink their blood. He likes the taste of blood.
A lot.

Vampires are cool and all, but this dude isn't good looking at all so it's just effing creepy.

Hm. I bet a lot of people at school think I'm some sorta vampire. SWEET.
but I'm on a strict no blood diet. xDD

Anyways, this Darian dude called my good friend Mark gay and later told the story to some jocks in math like it was some huge victory. He was like "I reall wish he wouldve tried to punch me. I would have beaten the crap outta him."
And in my mind I was like "puh-lease. Mark would kick your scrawny little vampire faggot buttocks any day." but all I really did was just say? "yea, suuuure."

So about an hour go my cousins texted me. Here's our conversation.
Her: So guess what?
Me: You won the lottery?
Her: We had Worth the Wait today.
(sex ed program)
Me: So...no lottery?
Her: lol no. But we saw a boys southern parts.
Me: Southern parts?
Her: it was gross!
*snort. You won't think so in a few years when those hormones really start bustin' a move*
me: mmm. Loverly.


Oh, balls.
Where are muh chips??

Song of the day (exclusively for my cousin): "Lollipop" cover by Framing Hanley

Meant to be posted on Jan. 24, 2011

My life is now complete.

I was reading my friends blog and remembered how great it felt to just mess around over a blog, so I started over.

I'm the kind of person who says things that are really dorky but also pretty logical.
Like yesterday my dad and stepmom were talking about deodorant for whatever odd reason and I finally just shut them up by talking. I said, "If there's a zombie apocalypse I don't think the zombies are gonna care why brand of deodorant you use as long as you wear some!"

They just kind of laughed at me.

And then today in the car with my mom she was my what me and my boyfriends "song" was. And I have her my signature WTF look.
You see, I've lived my life under the impression that a couples song is the one they dance to or kiss during or...yeah. But NOOOO!
Holy freaking dinosaur balls was I wrong.

And before I go one with this story I must tell you another.
In art we're making Chimera's out of clay. Chimeras arecreatures from Greek mythology. You can google them.
Anyways we were talking about medusa when I was like "I thought Athena turned her into a gorgon because she caught her and poseidon doin' the nastehh in her temple...?"
Yes. That is my slightly inappropriate way to imply sex to adults in a sentence.
I'd gotten the phrase "doin' the nasty" from the House of Night book series (rlly good, btw).

So I said to my mom "is that what you and your loved one do the nasteh to or whatever?!"
An she laughed. "if it is then I hope you don't have an answer."
I totally died of laughter.

When we got closer to home me and my two year old sister started a "NOOOOO!" war.
For about ten minutes we were screamin "NO!" repeatedly.
It was hilarious. Because my mom was getting so annoyed.